Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
