Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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