Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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