2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
honey bunches of taint.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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