Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
