whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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