i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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