i was born a porn star she said
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
two words...techno handjob
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
