Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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