hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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