I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
