I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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