Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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