don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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