had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
