i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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