Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I will be naked everywhere
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
