With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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