I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
