I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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