You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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