She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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