I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
