what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I cut my penus on the lid.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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