RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
