hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Is it because I queefed?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
is wine microwaveable?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
