Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
