What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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