Its about making memories worth repressing
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
