Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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