A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
