He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just cut my nipple shaving
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
