i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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