I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
