i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
