so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
