i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
