Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
