i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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