thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
