Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
