Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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