Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i wish my penis had a tongue
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
