I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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