State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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