Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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