Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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