it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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