I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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