Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
So many bounce houses so little time
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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